Dhak dhak!

I am at my doctor's office and thinking...EKG? What does it stand for? I have heard ECG and that means echo cardiogram. Or maybe the nurse actually said ECG and I heard it as EKG. Would I sound stupid asking what is EKG? Sure I would. Maybe she will ask me to get my IQ checked before the EKG, whatever that is. Why do I need an EKG? What is an EKG anyway?

Wait wait wait...I cannot start here. Going back few weeks.

It is a typical late evening. My daughter is sleeping, my wife is packing my lunch for the next day and inspecting the dish washer that I loaded before switching it on and as for myself, I have moved from a sit upright position to a very reclined position on the couch and from a laser-focused-attention watching Frasier to a semi-slumber state. :) And I had had couple of drinks earlier that evening when my friend stopped by so Mr.Frasier and his friends had no chance against my dozing eyelids. For the record, the "couple drinks earlier" is not part of the "typical" evening.

I am 10 mins or so into my "nap" when the baby monitor placed right next to me relays a mild noise from my daughter. It must be nap or whatever dream I was having but that mild noise felt like a speeding train in my head. I jump out of the couch and take off running up the stairs towards her crib. I reach her crib and find that she just shifted her position and sleeping just fine. At that point, I realize that my heart is pounding. I mean real fast. Boom Boom Boom Boom! So I wanted to lie down a bit and I did. My wife had just witnessed me jump out of the couch and run upstairs like a crazy maniac. Not that it is unusual to see something like this from me, she comes and checks up on me. Seeing me lying in the bed she is like oh no, what happened? I am fine, just wanted to lie down a bit. What? Why? What happened? Take it easy! I am just fine. Oh no, should we go to a doctor? Should I call someone? No, I am fine.

I will fast forward a bit from this point...to the actual doctor's appointment day.

I am five minutes late. The nurse checks me into the consulting room and asks what is wrong. I tell her the story and she goes uh hmm. Have you had such episodes before? Episode? It is not an episode. I ran up the stairs like a crazy maniac and had a sudden rush! No, I did not have any episodes. Good! OK, BP is great, pulse is great, temperature is perfect. Doctor will be here in just a few minutes. Tick tock tick tock. Knock knock. It is the nurse again. Ugh! "The doctor wants to take an EKG. I will be back in couple minutes and explain everything but can you please take your clothes off waist up". Oh boy. Door close.

Knock knock! The nurse walks in, looks at me and goes "I am sorry but we have to shave your chest for better reading". What? Why? Hell no! What is the Eee-K-Geee anyway? So she explained what EKG is and it sounded reasonable why they wanted me to do it. And yes, it is same as ECG! Yes, I knew it!

The little razor comes out and she makes these little patches for the "Stickers" to go. I am probably going to look like Steve Carrell from 40 yr old virgin. The stickers get glued to my skin and some clips get hooked to the stickers. "Try to relax, maybe even a nap, it will help us get a steady reading". Oh yea? Sure. Why not? In the past 10 minutes, I had a complete monologue about EKG, questioned my own IQ level, had to take off my clothes waist up, got patches made on my chest, stickers glued to them and now have wires attached to them. Sure. I can relax. So anyway, the test goes on and it 2-3 minutes it is all done and I can get up, put my clothes back on and wait for the doctor. Nice!

Knock knock! Hey hey hey..how are you buddy?, says the doc. I am good I guess. Given the circumstances. So your heart looks great. BP is perfect and you look fine. So tell me, what happened?. OK, I tell him what happened...the story (I better not catch you yawning Doc!). So the doctor is making notes on his pad. I have no idea what notes he can make from my story. "Two drinks" "ran upstairs like maniac" "wife freaked out"...So few breathing-in breathing-out. Heart sounds great! You are just fine! Yay! "I would tell your wife it is just an adrenaline rush and nothing to worry about. You are fine. Keep working out and doing the things you do. If you have any more such episodes call me and we will run some more tests" No, really, it is not an episode and more tests? Make patches on my chest again? Why not do them while the patches are still uh..available? Alright, thanks doc.

So I tell my wife what the doc said and she seems satisfied. How about the patches? She looks at them and says "hey, like 40 yr old virgin". Yup! That's right.

The end...

As all drug commercials end their "story", so will I. Racing heart beat is no laughing matter and should not to be used by amateur bloggers for the amusement of blogosphere users. Failure to show up at a doc appointment made by your wife may result in loss of meals, sleeping space, any mental peace and in some extreme cases result in change of marital status. Healthy diet and regularly exercising is always important. Live healthy, stay healthy! :)