My Quest

My wife and I are sitting on the floor in our family room with our backs against the couch and my 1 yr old daughter is playing in the general area. She stops by the coffee table and is intrigued by the photo envelopes on them. They are right in the middle of the table so she is unable to reach them. She retries from different supposed-vantage points but is unable to secure the envelopes. It must be of great interest to her because after trying for couple minutes, she turns around, looks at both of us, and after confirming she has our attention starts crying (and I commonly refer to as the fake crying distinctly marked by no tears). My wife and I have been trying to not give her something as soon as she starts crying to avoid her going into the habit of crying for anything she wants. Yes, we are novice parents trying out different theories. She probably does this for about a minute and then turns around and walks away. I turn to wife and check if there is anything in the envelope and if it OK for my daughter to have. Yes, she says. As I proceed to pick up one of the envelopes, my wife confidently claims that it is of no importance to my daughter anymore. No, she will still appreciate that I gave it to her so I pick it up and leave it close enough for her to pick it up. By now, her attention is fully on something else and doesn’t even notice the envelope. So OK my wife was right, again! After a few minutes, my daughter is walking around the area and there…she notices the envelopes and in what looked like pure impulse picks up and starts playing with it.

This event as much common and typical as it was, somehow registered in my mind. I couldn't shelve it anywhere and I found it bouncing around my head for a while. And I kept thinking why, why am I remembering this? What is its significance? What is my conscience telling my brain? It wasn’t until this morning that I had an epiphany sorts and this is my theory.

I over analyze things. I use a lot of “but” in my thoughts and while I feel I am generally a positive thinker, I question the good-to-be-true of many things and get impatient and frustrated about not-so-good of many things. I recently mentioned to my wife that I feel like I am in a box. I feel every forward motion I make or happens to me only gets me to another “side” of the box. Here is how a simple thought I have would be like.

Hmm…I like what I do but…it is not secure. I am healthy…but I am balding. My commute is not too bad…but it is not too flexible with the train. I have a decent car…but it is not a hybrid high end SUV. I love Chicago…but the winter is freaking long. But…but…but…I am trying to think of stuff without using “but” and I am realizing that it is not easy.

I have something to learn from my 1 yr old here. That photo envelope was probably really important for her at that moment. But she moved on and found something else she liked. She continued on her quest after that and found the envelope. She recognized it instantly and did exactly what she wanted to do earlier except it was within her reach now.

I am oversimplifying things here but I think underneath everything the principle is the same. It is how we reach for something, are unable to reach it and instead of moving on try to go back to the same thing over and over again without ever seeing the possibilities outside of it. Now, you should try few times, many times like how my 1 yr old tried to reach the envelope from many points of the table. What is crucial is the ability to go beyond the frustration and look for more opportunities. I do not have that ability. Not right now anyway. But maybe it is time I work on it. Until then, I am going to be in a box. I will find success and I do but I will only find myself in a bigger box then. A box layered with “but”…

Is it because I am not content? Is it because I am greedy? Is it because I am ambitious? I don’t know. I will continue through life and my experiences will take me some place. And in that pursuit or when I finally get there I should be able answer those questions. It is my quest…and yes, I will find my photo envelope.

Lunch Special

My fists are clutched. My steps are well-paced. My opening and only line is well-rehearsed. I am ready. I know what I should do. I know what I should say. I know what I want...Here we go..now...do it! Go!

"Hi. General Tsao's chicken. Lunch Special. To Go. Uhhh. Please?"

Yes, I am at our "friendly" neighborhood Chinese take-out place Eat and Drink. So eat and drink (from hereon will be referred to as EnD) is the mom and pop of all mom and pop joints! Food is great. Well, I think so. Service is quick. Close to work. Reasonably priced - $6.50 for lunch special which includes entree, fried rice and egg-roll or crab rangoon. However, there is a catch...You have to know what you want before you step in front of the counter. Much like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld except that is total fiction from a comedy sitcom and this is for real.

so EnD is strictly take out. There are couple of tables but I think they are for people who messed up at the counter and have to wait for a "probation" period before retrying. EnD is about the size of two(maybe three)toll booths (no, I am not kidding!) and located in the corner of a parking lot. If not for the neon signs outside, it could very well be mistaken to be the parking lot "office".

Anyway, going back to ordering protocol at the counter.
1. Before you do anything near the counter, decide what you want. Be as specific as you can. If you can stick to a number on the menu, even better!
2. Ea---aaa--se in front of the counter. Maintain eye contact. Clear your voice. You got one shot at this!
3. In a clear voice, place your order, mouthing words specific to your order. I have nailed mine to this "Hi. General Tsao's chicken. Lunch Special. To Go. Uhhh. Please?" You might want to rehearse yours.
4. Await confirmation but do not expect verbal confirmation. It could be a nod or even a wave. In my experience, it is the relay of the order in high-pitch voice in Chinese to the "Chef" standing 2 feet away from the counter, but don't count on that.
5. On "confirming" step away from the counter. Do not linger!
6. Don't get distracted. Keep your eyes and ears open. You are close to the finish. You can do it!
7. As soon as you hear your order "announced" from the counter, it is time to pick up the food. Do not hesitate. Do not flinch. Do not get carried away. Again, ea--aaa--se your way in front of the counter. Have your cash ready (can't use card if under $10 - no exceptions) and, this is real important, if you want crab rangoon instead of egg-roll, be sure to mention at this time, again in a clear voice. Egg-roll is default selection and trust me, they do not like to change once it is in the bag.
8. Pick up your order and ease out of the counter. Pick up fork, spoon, napkins, soy sauce, duck sauce from the table opposite the counter. Do not ask for it at the counter while picking up food!
9. Step outside the door. Take a deep breath. I usually eat my crab rangoon at this point to help overcome the stress I had just been through. If you need a full meal to overcome yours I am sure that is acceptable.

It is interesting how so many restaurants invest so much on decor, hospitality, servicing, liquor license, piano and what not but still go out of business. But this little shack does just one thing well and stays in business (and doing well I believe). Good for them the one thing they do well is make good food.

If you are ever in Chicago west loop, you should check it out. You will enjoy it...as long as you remember the protocol.

Ineligible Bachelors?

"Ineligible Bachelors: Indian Men Living in U.S. Strike Out
Brides and Parents Back Home Get Picky as Economy Makes America Look Risky"
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123896998996190775.html


It made front page of The Wall Street Journal yesterday. Interesting...WSJ is done with AIG bonuses, bank bailout, G20 and could only turn to the singleness of Indian men apparently prolonged due to a weak economy. Few lines from this articles stick out...

Rahul Tamrakar, 32, a full-time consultant for International Business Machines Corp. in Chicago, has been looking for a bride back home in India. But he says prospective in-laws were worried that "consultant" was a euphemism for "unemployed." One parent asked to see his tax returns. He refused, and the talks fell through. Now, "I'm trying to meet up [with] girls who are in the U.S. already," he says.

The parent asking for the tax returns is what we could call a Ninja move! If your prospective in-law asks for your tax returns it is a sign. A sign that you should run as far as you can from that dude. If you end up being his son-in-law he is going to only stop at demanding that you direct deposit your paycheck to a common account and pick up "allowance" from him. Having said that, when my 1 yr old is ready to get married I will find a way to run a full credit report on the guy! You bet!

Ms. Seth says that if she were to move to the U.S. or to another developed country, she might not get a job quickly and would have to be dependent on her husband for a while. While she's open to the idea of giving up her independence, she worries that given the state of the U.S. economy, a groom based in America might not be earning enough to support her. For instance, Ms. Seth says she likes nice clothes and would like to have a flat-screen TV. "Is he really prepared to provide the kind of lifestyle that I have right now?" She expects a husband to earn more than she does.

Okie dokie...what is it really? Make enough to support her or provide the kind of lifestyle "I have right now"? Ms.Seth broke it down for us. Kohl's clearance sale of "Made in Bangladesh" nice clothes and Visio flat screen TV, refurbished. I mean if you are shallow at least hit real high. Nice clothes and flat screen? Please!

Mr. Dave of Klassic Match charges a minimum fee of $100, versus $50 for candidates living in India. He charges more for specific requirements. For instance, he says some overseas Indians want a bride who is smart, fluent in English, and "simultaneously, docile in the house." He says such women are now harder to find, so he bumps up his fees for some searches.

Simultaneously, docile in the house? Is this guy really married? What is this? The Stepford wives finder?

Oh well...

I am so thankful for having met my wife when I was a not particularly motivated college student...I could only improve from that point. Or so she felt.

To the tigers and tigresses out there in the jungle looking for each other - there is more to it than tax returns, nice clothes and flat screen TVs but ya, that is a good start. :)

Ka-chow!

Growing up, my idol was Superman. He was the ultimate Hero according to me! How couldn’t he be? He can fly, x-ray vision, laser from his eye, unimaginable strength, stop bullets and missiles…I mean he is flawless.

I notice that kids nowadays follow different kind of heroes. Spider-man, batman and superman are still pretty popular but there is a whole set of heroes that are just like regular people. To name a few, Lightning McQueen, Diego from Go Diego Go, Dora the explorer, Kung Fu Panda…

I am going to focus on Lightning McQueen here. Well, he is the one I know most about but above all reasons I am truly amazed how these two little kids I know, adore McQueen! The first time I watched the movie Cars, I fell asleep on the couch and instead of blaming my habit of falling asleep on the couch, I blamed it on the movie and critiqued it as a boring movie by Pixar. My wife fell asleep as well so I was pretty darn sure that it was because the movie was boring.

Couple years or so later, I come in close contact with McQueen and it has made me come to the conclusion that it was my habit of falling asleep on the couch and not the movie Cars. Ok, before I am critiqued as crazy let me elaborate. Two boys, a 3ish yr old and a 1.5ish yr old gave me an entirely different perspective about McQueen and his friends. To them he is the true hero. And I keep thinking how a talking car could take such a prime spot on a kid’s mind? A place I thought was for superman! Now…the entertainment world, media world and every kid’s shoes and clothes factory in china has ensured McQueen’s popularity. However, I give credit to the kids of this generation to pick a regular dude who was an arrogant jerk but realized what he was and “fixed” his attitude. By doing so, McQueen has gone on to replace the much sort after place in a kid’s heart and mind. Kids probably relate to him more than they do with superman.

So McQueen thought he was unbeatable; nothing would ever happen to him. In fact he doesn’t even “wear” headlights. He says race cars don’t need headlights because the tracks are always lit. Much like how a lot of people felt prior to the financial meltdown! :) McQueen didn’t believe in team work. He felt he was so good and didn’t need anybody. If my memory serves right, McQueen fired 3 crew chiefs. However, all that changes when he is stuck in this supposedly godforsaken town radiator springs! Without going into too much details, McQueen comes out a changed person, uh, car from this experience.

The final race is really cool! The creators of the movie get so much done in that race. McQueen realizes how beatable he is. He realizes that he does need a team. Guido’s fastest pit stop is one of my favorite scenes in the movie. McQueen realizes it is not always about winning the race. !!!SPOILER ALERT!!! By pushing Mr. The King across the line McQueen drove the point to the kids that you can be a winner without finishing first. We live in a competitive and cynical world. We doubt our own abilities everyday. We doubt others abilities even more. As a kid, I could never imagine superman coming third in a race. Impossible! But the two boys I know and all the McQueen fans out there love McQueen and relate to him because he is just like every body else. He wants to win, needs help to win and sometimes feels good about something in spite of not winning.

I encourage anyone who hasn’t watched the movie to rent it tonight and watch it. And in some cases I might be able arrange a viewing of cars with one of biggest McQueen fans.

With that said…I am going to leave you with some quotes from the movie.

“Well, you know, race cars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit.”

“Ah. This grumpy old race car I know once told me something: it's just an empty cup.”

“Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer.” I am going to give McQueen a pass for "re-wording" Ali’s line!

“Luigi follow only the Ferraris.”