Achan

I will never forget the moment I hugged my dad for the last time. We all remember instances but this is different. I remember the exact feeling I had at that moment and the exact emotion I had and the exact words I told him. I have since replayed it in my head so many times that it is more than just a memory. It was in Chennai airport and I was going to board a flight to LA in couple hours or so. I was a little overcome by emotion when I hugged my dad and I remember telling him that it is odd. It is odd that I am finding it very hard to say bye to him when I was ok telling my mom I will see her in couple years. You see, I felt I was my mom’s favorite and my sister is my dad’s favorite. So it was odd that I felt very sad saying goodbye to my dad and was just fine with my mom. Of course I shrugged off that in few minutes and went on…

I never realized how close I was to my dad until I moved out of home to college. Growing up, we had our differences of course. I was a kid and he was an adult.

Of the many memories I have here are few early ones…

I was in 3^rd grade when my dad got promoted to…Actually I do not know. I remember him as a sales manager at that time so maybe that is what he got promoted to. He called my mom at home to deliver the news and it was during summer vacation and we (my sister and I) were home. I didn’t really know a lot about promotions but definitely knew it was a very good thing. My mom was overjoyed. To celebrate the occasion I felt I had to present him with something. So I took an old greeting card and carved out some flowers out of it, stuck it to another old greeting card and wrote some really random stuff. With flowers and some more flowers around it. I wish I had saved it because I would get a huge laugh out of seeing it now. Oddly, I remember making the gift and what it looked like but don’t remember how he reacted when I presented it to him. But we went out for dinner to celebrate. Four of us (dad, mom, sister and me) rode on our Bajaj scooter to Blue Diamond. That was the fanciest restaurant I had been to until then and I had a great time.

Every Friday (for the longest time) my dad would take me and my sister to this restaurant (Akmas) for biriyani. It wasn’t a fancy restaurant by any means but the biriyani was great. My sister and I would each get a plate of chicken biriyani and loved it! My dad wouldn’t get anything and just sit there while we finish eating. We never used to “to-go” either. Even mom never came along. It was just us. I don’t remember any conversations we had during those dinners but I vaguely remember him sitting there and watching as we sat and enjoyed the biriyani. He would always ask if it was good and we would nod with our mouth full. In fact, he would ask few times if the biriyani is good. I am not sure why my dad and mom never ate the biriyani along with us. Maybe it wasn’t “budgeted” for 4 people. I do not know but that is probably a good guess. I have never been to that place since then. I do not even know if it exists. Maybe I will check it out next time I visit Chennai. It was in Poonamallee high road, enroute to Aminjikarrai!

My dad worked for Binny Ltd (textile company) and it had a “company club” next to their office. The company club was pretty much deserted except for the “bar man” who ran the bar where I have rarely seen anyone. This was the scene in Chennai (in the 80s). So on second Saturdays we (my sister and I) would accompany my dad to the office and he would drop us off at the company club which was fully equipped with a billiards table, ping pong table, a library (really small room) and a bar. We had unlimited access to the library (phew), ping pong and “cold drinks”, potato chips and peanuts at the bar. I would usually drink a “cold drink” every hour. My dad would get off work at 1ish on Saturdays, sign the bar bill and we would go home. I would have tales of cold drinks and potato chips to tell for the next couple days. My tongue being orange from all the “gold spot” I drank all morning.

World Cup Soccer 1994. Finals. Brazil vs Italy. The match starts very early. 2am? 3am? Don’t remember. So I ask my dad to wake me up when he wakes up for the match. He says yes. But he wakes me up and I sense something wrong. It is almost the end of second half. I am furious. And I go on and on about how he messed it up for me. How I wanted to watch it. He said he is sorry but I kept going and finally he says something to the effect of this “now take it easy. Don’t keep talking till you cross a line. I am your dad and you are my son. Now sit and watch rest of the match. It’s going to overtime”. J Sir, yes Sir! No goals at end of regulation. Nothing at end of overtime. Penalty shoot out! Brazil scores 3 out of 5 and Italy is 2 out 4. Roberto Baggio walks up to take the final kick. Oh boy, the nerves! Boom! Baggio hits the ball over the post. Oh miss! Brazil are world champions! My dad was a fan of Baggio and he liked the brazilian team as well. But mostly he liked soccer. I have watched several complete matches; ones even more interesting but the one I remember most – 1994 finals, the one that I almost missed!

Robin hood, prince of thieves. Starring Kevin Kostner, releases in 1991. Big hit in India! All my friends have watched it and given rave reviews. The movie moves from Devi Paradise theater (the English movie theater) to Grand (almost like second release). I keep telling my dad how badly I wanted to watch this movie. Sure, we will go, he said. And the day didn’t come. So final day of the movie in grand theater. This is it. Last day the movie will run in a Chennai theater ever! Last show. 10pm. My dad says, alright, Paralets go. So we go get the scooter, my dad tries to kick it to start but nope. After few attempts, he gives up and I have given up my hopes of watching Robin Hood. But my dad has this idea. How about your cycle? Wow, really? Doubles on the cycle? Sure, why not. So we grab my cycle and I sit in the back and he pedals about 3-4 miles to the theater. We get there just in time for the movie. And the ride back past midnight. I have watched that movie few times since then. It is corny, cheezy with some parts totally ridiculous but I still get a kick out of watching it.

When Doordarshan 2 started airing programs, they were hip and just the idea of having another channel to tune to was amazing! There was this program superhit muqabla which was basically a countdown of top hindi songs. I was a huge fan. J So this was back when we were living in annanagar west in an apartment right next to my aunt’s apartment. My aunt still lives there btw so I have since visited this place several times. I was in high school and should be, like my dad said, walking, talking, sleeping about studies and only thinking about the board exams. J Hardly. So this one night the power goes off an hour before the show and it is almost show time but no sign of power. Strangely, my aunt’s place had power (on a different “phase”) but no TV. Bummer. My dad and my mom aren't home so without heeding to any warnings from my sister, I carry the TV to my aunt’s place to watch the show. Ah, how nice! Too bad my dad didn’t see it that way. He is just mighty pissed when he gets back and finds me go through all this trouble to watch the stupid show. In his opinion, if only I would take the same commitment towards my books, I would be so much better. But the books don’t have “pehla nasha” playing! So as a punishment, he decided to block re-entry of the TV to our house. Meaning, the TV would stay at my aunt’s place and I would not get to watch it. Not sure how long that was the case but I would say couple months or so. My grandma would go to my aunt’s place to watch TV and even tried convincing to my dad but not a chance. I always laugh thinking about that incident now. What I did for superhit muqabla and DD2!

It is 8 years today since he passed away and I miss him in so many different ways. I wish he had visited me here; driven my first car; visited my work place; played with my daughter; stayed at our home; gone out to dinner for my promotion; visited New York; discussed the Obama election with me…yes, my list is long. That list will sit there…and grow as I go on with my life and find a million things I would want to share with him.