Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Swadesi or Dreamer?

I am patriotic. Period. That is not open to discussion and I am not writing to confirm that. The purpose of this blog is something else. I have been posting pro-swadesi articles for a while now and felt very strongly about many issues that concern India and her future. But I have been told many times by many people that my “swadesi” feeling is just a romantic version of me being home sick and missing home. At first I felt they were challenging or undermining my patriotism. Anger…that was my emotion. But on further discussion I found out that my patriotism is so not challenged but it is my “swadesi” feeling that is being challenged. So what is the difference?

I would like to think we are all patriotic. We should be. Citizenship is not just another thing that ties you to a place. Citizenship is your identity. You should love your citizenship and hold it close to your heart. I know I do. Swadesi I feel goes a step further. You feel so close to your country. You sense its pulse. You take pride in her success. You feel rage at her defeats. You feel responsible for her shortcomings. (No, I am not going to quote JFK here. What a cliché). You feel you can make a difference and you will.

Now that I have established what I feel swadesi is let us move along.


So my swadesi feeling was challenged and today I answer my critics (yes, I do have critics). Here is my response.

  • Yes, I have not felt so strongly about many things when I lived in India. I have few reasons for that. I was a kid. I have matured since then. I have seen more of this world now. I formed opinions about many things. Some right and some wrong but I know I am learning…aren’t we all?
  • Yes, I know the other side is always greener. I know things are different from here. I know things you take for granted here are not in India. But I grew up in India. If I go to India and stand in line for an hour to pay my electricity bill I won’t be shocked. I won’t be surprised. I have been there. Now I do it in Chicago using easypay because I can. If I had to stand in the line during freezing Chicago winter I would. Wouldn’t you?
  • Yes, I am home sick. I was not home sick for the first few months. But then things changed drastically. There were many reasons I changed. I have been through tough and challenging times. And I have felt lonely then. In the very low point of my life I have felt more home sick than ever. But things changed again…I know it is not easy to get over it but I have. I am still homesick and I miss my family. But would I have my whole family here and still feel homesick? Probably not.
  • Yes, I know the work culture is different in India and people work long hours for less pay. Believe it or not I have worked long hours for less pay in the land of opportunities USA.

Why am I being so defensive about this? I should be. I am mature enough to understand the difference between patriotism and home sickness. I have been hurled that question too many times lately. Why is it so hard for someone to understand that I can WANT to be in India even though I have a good life here? Why does it have to be because the grass is greener on the other side? Why can’t my feelings be genuine? But please don’t get me wrong. I don’t show blind patriotism. As I have written in my previous blogs I do not say India is the best no matter what. Neither do I say everything is bad about India.

I know what I am talking about. I am not trying to re-enact the movie Border here but I will continue to voice my opinion. I will continue to show my patriotism. I will continue to say I miss being in my country. I will continue to show great joy when they launch satellites. I will continue to cheer for our cricket team and curse the losers who eat up a spot and do nothing. I will continue to curse the politicians who are corrupt. I will continue to applaud the efforts of many who are making a difference. I will continue to try and make a difference. And you know what…I am a swadesi and I will continue to be one…


GO INDIA!

1 comment:

Jai said...

I believe we had a short exchange of emails on this topic yesterday, and I repeat what I said yesterday. I do agree with you that you can WANT to be in India even though you have a good life here. I on the contrary used to always crib about the short comings of India, and used to and still to some extent nag about the problems one faces when he's in India. But something has changed in me too during my recent visit to India. I was stuck there due to some visa issues and instead of a month, I stayed there for two and a half months. I think in the last six and half years that I lived away from my country, I never got to or rather wanted to spend so much time there like I was forced to this time. But never before was I sad leaving India than I was this time. Part of it was home sickness and I know that, but there was part of me which wanted to stay back for reasons I'm not too sure about. Maybe its because like you say maturity has crept into our lives with time and we realize that no matter what anyone says apna desh aakhir apna hi hota hai.

While I was waiting for my flight in the visitors lounge, I sat next to a family where the lady was Indian and the guy was American. They were traveling with their mixed breed kids (boy 14-15ish, and girl 10-11ish) and had celebrated their New Year in India with their family. Two statements that I heard from this family made me think a lot, and echoed in my thoughts through out my flight. When the airport authorities announced that the flight will be delayed by another 4 hours due to fog, the boy shouted out "man, I can't wait to get out of this place and go home to NY", and it hit me hard that here I was running away from home even though I was facing all these troubles to get out. A few hours later while standing in the queue to board the plane, the American guy (dad) from the same family said to his wife..."you know if you ever want to come back and settle down here in India, I'll be more than happy, because I liked it a lot". That statement still resonates in me at times when I think about my trip. Doesn't matter if the guy hasn't stayed that long and only came there for a vacation, he still didn't think twice before telling his Indian wife that he's ready to accompany her and settle in India. Whereas when I was leaving India for the first time, I told my friends and family that I don't think I would want to come back and settle in India once I go to US. I know how wrong I was then, and I will correct it in time.

I remember watching some Hindi movie where the girl says to the guy "Oh, so you're an NRI? A Non Reliable Indian! Well in that case, I can't depend on you". Sometimes I think maybe that's what our friends and family back home in India think about us. They don't want to think this way, and they will continue to love us as they always have, but this thought is in their mind somewhere. And this feeling makes me sick to the core. I think I'm tired now, and want to go back to my country, and face the challenges of life as all the other billions of people do everyday and still survive life and succeed in life. Yes, there will be hurdles, but when was life a walk in the clouds.

Jai.